We Have To Start With The Reason Why You Don't Already Feel Positive And Happy And Then Dive Into How to be Happy and Positive
Is it because of the extra workload at home or at work?
Is it because of arguments/discussion with your partner/family/friends?
Is it because you just got out of a relationship and are single?
Is it because you are single and would really like to have someone in your life?
Is it because you are feeling the pressure of society to be a certain way?
Let's see a few main issues and other tips to help you feel more Positive and Happy every single day!
Read Also: Your 10 Step Roadmap to a more happy You
Workload
If you are stressed and unhappy because of extra workload maybe you can start by asking for help. That is correct. Just ask. It's okay to not be able to do everything by yourself. You can ask your colleagues, partner, family, kids for a hand to alleviate some of that stress.
And if you are not getting that support then well it's time to handle that first. Never be a victim and stay silent, you have to stand up for yourself and draw boundaries.
Change starts from within first; that within can be your home, your body or your relationships.
Cleaning
Is your house cluttered? Too many things to clean, dust and overall full? Take a day to clean everything! Kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, living room, dining room, porch, garden, garage. Do the Laundry, clean the windows, clean the kitchen cabinets, change your bed sheets and pillow covers,hoover, mop the floor, clean your wardrobes (give clothes you don't wear anymore to charity). Once all is done, not only will you feel tired you will automatically start feeling lighter and happier!
Arguments
If it's too many arguments you need to decide if those arguments are worth your time and peace of mind. Make a decision and move on, if one door closes another one will open up for you - that is how it works whether you believe in it or not.
Do not compromise on your peace of mind.
If you think there is a chance to fix things then by all means try it, otherwise sometimes things get better if we just leave them alone for some time.
Try to remember the reason you are in this situation in the first place, try to remember all the good things about your partner, job, kids and keeping moving on.
Relationship
Now the relationship area is my favorite. Imagine someone left you, so what do you think you should do now? After taking the time to feel sad and sorry about the situation it's time you change and be a better version of yourself.
Maybe you do love your current version already which is great by the way but you can always improve! So when your ex looks back at you he/she thinks: OMG what did i lose!
Imagine if you won the lottery! How would that make them feel? Get that feeling for yourself!
The winning feeling, the feeling that you didn't lose anything but they did. It's their loss really.
Save that love and affection for someone who deserves it, and you will get that someone if not today then tomorrow.
You don't need to find love. Love finds you when you love and respect yourself.
Use this time of freedom, the time where you don't need to give explanations to no one to DO YOU! Do all of that stuff that you wanted to do but you didn't because you were so busy with your relationship!
Maybe it was painting, learning how to code, how to dance, how to sing, how to cook! Do it now.
Society
Get married by 20
Have children by 24
Have your own house my 26
Have a secure job
Travel to different countries
Have savings
Don't get divorced - Think about the family and make it work
Yes it can be quite difficult if you have the weight to fulfill all of the above requirements to be a part of the society or your "community". But do you know what's the catch?
You don't need to please these people anymore.
There is a big community of people who:
Are still in their 30's single and looking for love
Are still waiting for the perfect partner to have kids with
Are still renting because they don't want to buy a house
Are just starting a new career and following their passions
Are getting divorced after being in long term relationships
Still didn't get time or the luxury to travel to other countries
So you can choose any of the above communities who will accept and treat you like the Princess/Prince that you are without judgement. Maybe your old friends circle really didn't deserve you.
Imagine how much lighter and happier you will feel around people who are in the same stage of life as you?
It will remove all of your insecurities and you can start fresh.
Maybe with this new group of people a year from now you have found your love and getting married and ready to be parents!!!
Life is not a race, everyone has their own time to achieve everything.
Social Media
I think social media is the main culprit for people being unhappy nowadays.
They see other people living their best life, with their perfect job, branded clothes, branded handbags, expensive cars, travelling and posting pictures of their perfect face and body and the thoughts are always running in theirs minds non stop 24 hours 7 days a week! It's impossible to escape!
I myself once was in that place UNTIL I realized that it's impossible for anyone to have the perfect life. It just is. Let's think about Cristiano Ronaldo and Georgina for a second. They have everything what I mentioned earlier...EVERYTHING! Money, fame, health, beauty. But is that everything really? Can they go to public places without being bombarded by people wanting to take pictures with them and having their autographs? Can they just live without the fear and leave their bodyguards at home for few days?
Can they truly be alone and have privacy? No.
So then what kind of happiness is the one that comes with fear?
Now let's forget about them and think about "normal" people.
Their posts can be edited, their body can be edited. They could be having arguments every day about finance or other household issues. Maybe her other half doesn't help with cleaning, maybe she doesn't do enough overtimes to pay towards the bills or vice versa. But they are smiling in the pictures!!
Never believe in the pictures, believe in what they do in real life if you see them. Otherwise see them only as content creators ... that is actually a profession. They create content so that people like us can have content to see, like, share and comment. So that we have something to scroll down!
Now that we have gone through a few reasons why you could be feeling unhappy let's look at some tips and options on how to be happier generally.
Happiness
Do you remember how you felt the last time you were getting ready for your holidays? Imagine if you could feel like that every day!
Just think about the last time you were really happy!
If you could wake up with that feeling everyday you would be always happy! Now I know that it's hard to travel everyday but why not fake the feeling until you make it?
I would highly recommend 2 books for you to read:
"Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod. It did change the way I see life.
"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne
We can't see air but we do breathe it, we can't see the wind but we do feel it in our skin.
Just because we can't see or believe in something it doesn't mean it is not true or happening to us.
Happiness Trick
Reverse Jealousy
I am going to give you a few examples when your mind knowing or unknowingly feels bad/sad/down while looking at other people's life and success. They might be your best friends! But human nature is made that way so sometimes we can't help to feel bad for ourselves before we accept that fact and be happy for them.
I am going to use "They" for the statements below, "They" can be anyone - your friends, relatives, colleagues, social media friends.
When they get that promotion
When they get a brand new car
When they buy their own house and you are not there yet
When they travel more than what you can afford
When they get pregnant and you have been trying for some time now without success
When they have that personality you wished you had but don't have
When they can be focused, persistent and consistent in what they do and you can't
The simple trick to not allow these feelings to get the worse out of you is to simply give up and be happy for them!
You must be saying..."Yeah yeah...if only it was that easy!"
Well what if it is?
I have researched and saw quite a lot examples of when people are genuinely happy for others as if it didn't happen to them but happened to you! You will 100% get it too! Because you are vibing in the same success wavelength as them!
Did they buy a new car? Feel it as if happened to YOU! But congratulate them!
This has 3 benefits.
It's giving you an excuse to be happy for yourself (because before this you didn't have anything new happening for you on which you could congratulate yourself and them)
You don't feel bad anymore because you understand the more you have these chances to be happy and be in that success wavelength better for you!
You don't feel that you are competing with anyone or falling behind in life. Their success is your success
Now imagine you open your Instagram app and there are hundreds of people posting about their achievements and perfect life!
Now instead of being sad, moody and jealous looking at their perfect life you will be happy to see how many people are in your circle doing well in life! Go and congratulate them, live their success with them, be happy with them and you are one step closer to your dream life too.
Plus you will get more real friends! People love when someone else is actually truly happy for them and not just showing it for the sake of society.
I only see WIN WIN situations here! Oh wait and there's benefits in this! You can start right now with your phone laying on your comfy bed. You can start with your friends on Instagram , Facebook, Twitter, Tik Tok!!!
Read Also: Your 10 Step Roadmap to a more happy You
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